The Phone Trees bloom as November approaches...

I tend to be on the phone. I am on the phone a lot. Most of my time on the phone is spent either on hold or trying desperately to climb the never-ending phone trees that surround various insurance companies. While these trees are treacherous and difficult to endure (most of the time), there is a lot to be said for the leisure time it grants me. Hence, I am writing a blog about them while I sift through the lush branches of "Press 1 for English" and "Press 6 for claims." I climb and climb until I hear,"All of our representatives are currently helping other customers. We know your time is valuable. Please hold for the next available representative." Ah, bliss. As I hold, I am entertained by various musac. Some of my favorite works are: a new age version of "Let it Be," an orchestral arrangement of "Tonight" from West Side Story (to which I sang along), and a healthy mix of Neil Diamond and Dionne Warwick ballads.
My enjoyment of the music is inevitably disrupted by a recording asking me to "remain on the line for the next available representative" or by the elusive representative himself. After that, the call is completed quickly. I feel abandoned and alone. To be blessed with such greatness only for that greatness to be brutally stripped away. As much as I hate for the "on-hold" process to end, I will always remember with fondness the moments that Neil told me he would rather be forever in blue jeans.