Wednesday, April 22, 2009


As many of you know, Andy and I will be married in three days. I have been planning this wedding for over a year and dreaming about it even longer. Andy has been so supportive and understanding with my intermittent melt downs. He has sat with me and allowed me to vent my frustrations and feelings of failure and worry. He has held my hand and listened, knowing that optimistic words would only anger me. Andy, you are the best. I love you more than I could ever fully express. I am so honored to become your wife.
My parents have been unbelievably kind and generous by always asking what I want and striving to make our wedding everything I could wish. Andy’s parents have been fantastic, offering ideas and encouragement. April has planned the greatest parties and I am so grateful to her for being fabulous. Levi was a trooper and was prepared to get his measurements taken AGAIN because of our minor mess up with the tuxedo place. My friend Kirsten has been my cheerleader and a truly understanding spirit (as she lived through her own wedding just seven months ago). These are just a few people who have helped me with the largest burden I have ever faced.
Looking back over the year, there are a few things I would change, but not many. I joke that ‘If I had it to do all over again, I would elope,’ but that’s not true. It is so important to me to share this milestone with as many people as possible. There are so many people who have touched my life; it would be tragic if any of them missed it.
I am so excited for my wedding. I am so excited to share the most important day of my life with my family and friends. I am excited to promise my life to Andy. I am excited to dance the night away. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate such an important event than with a beautiful ceremony and a giant party.
To those of you who will be able to celebrate with us, you are invaluable to me. Your presence is an affirmation of your encouragement and agreement. It means so much that you will share your time with us. So many of you are traveling from out of state (some out of the continental US) and I am deeply touched by your gesture. Thank you for understanding the importance of this day for us. You are truly marvelous friends and we are so grateful for your presence in our lives.
To those of you who are celebrating with us from afar, thank you. You are loved and will be dearly missed.
So friends, this is my last blog as Candace Lynne Conyers.
Friends and family, you mean the world to me.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

In case you care...

I picked my wedding gown up on Saturday.

It is unharmed, intact, and clean!

Thank you Hampton Cleaners for being competant and "Breaking the law"!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Dear Mr. Tuxedo Man...

April 7, 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to make you aware of the extreme dissatisfaction I have experienced with your business as well as with your employees. I have witnessed very unprofessional behavior and unbelievable mistakes which have not been rectified as of yet. Had these issues not occurred so close to my wedding date, I would joyfully demand a refund of what has already been paid and take my business elsewhere.
Our wedding date is April 25, 2009. We were told that all of our “measurements MUST be in no later than March 14th.” We diligently made sure that all of our groomsmen and fathers understood the necessity of obtaining these measurements prior to the due date. I even called at the beginning of February to ask an employee the best way to submit measurements for out of town groomsmen. I was advised that calling it in was not the most reliable method rather, I should use the website—the link that says ‘enter your measurements here.’
Yesterday (April 6, 2009) I called to confirm everything was correct and that we were set for our wedding. I was told that we were down for 9 tuxedos; I corrected him that we only needed 8, and then I was told that he was still missing measurements for four men. Two of the measurements I had completed the second week of February. I had to call the groomsmen several times to make sure every blank on the form was completed. The second two were the last two entered the second week of March. I received a page that said ‘Thank you for submitting your measurements’ after each person I submitted. That, to me, was a confirmation that they were received.
When I relayed this information to the employee he told me that that wasn’t possible. He told me that I had probably just ‘thought’ I submitted the measurements, but that I hadn’t actually done it. He said with a chuckle that a lot of people make that mistake. He told me that if I shut the page without hitting ‘submit’ that they wouldn’t be sent. He also told me that the order wouldn’t go through unless every field was filled. Perhaps you should tell your employees that making a customer feel like he or she is stupid is not the best way to keep them calm and happy.

Here are my issues:

• The employee I spoke with called me a liar and placed the blame on me.
• Your employee spoke to me as if I was a child.
• Why was I not contacted the day after the measurements were due to check on the status of the missing measurements?
• What is the point of a due date if, two weeks before the wedding, it doesn’t matter if measurements are even in or not?
• The employee I spoke with never even apologized for losing the measurements.
• DO NOT tell people that the online service is the best way to submit measurements if you have no guarantee that you will actually receive and log them.

As a customer, I put a lot of faith in my vendors that everything will go smoothly. I was expecting that a few items wouldn’t be perfect, but that was the extent of my stress about the tuxedos. Now I seriously doubt your ability to order the correct suits let alone the correct sizes. I hope that we have no other issues. As of now, I am unhappy with your service in every respect of the word.

Most sincerely,

Candace Conyers

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Tale of the Douche-Man Waiter

There is an evil that lurks at the Market Street Grill in downtown Salt Lake City. This seemingly innocent place houses a creature that is both offensive and despicable. The name of this creature rhymes with Dallin.
I am sure that 'Dallin' began his day with the thought, "Gosh, I hope I have a bachelorette party at one of my tables so I can behave inappropriately and charge them items that they never ordered. Bachelorette parties usually get drunk and don't pay enough attention anyway. If I charge them for things they don't order, that will boost my automatic 18% doesn't matter if it is dishonest or deplorable."
Dear Dallin was in luck on Saturday night. My friend Annette decided to spend the first portion of her Bachelorette party at this restaurant. And what luck! Dallin was our server! He began the evening with the finesse of a sleazy swinger. He flirted a little too hard and joked a little too much. Whatever. I enjoy bantering with ambitious servers.
Other than being slightly slow with the water refills, Dallin didn't do poorly as our server. He was knowledgeable about the menu and seemed to get our orders right. Seemed.
I asked our server if I could have my bill (Andy was on his way to pick me up). "Oh," said Dallin. "I didn't realize you were on separate checks." I looked around confused. There were 12 people at the table all under the age of 25. Really? He really didn't think we would be on separate checks? If he had said he 'couldn't' separate the bill, that would have been understandable. Rather, he gave us some story about how their computer system was ancient and it would just take 'so much work to work that out for you, gals' (wink).
Slightly annoyed, but not angry yet, we passed around the check, put our cards in and crossed off our orders. After the check made it around the table someone announced that we were $100 short. With eager curiosity and fear that my retarded arithmetic skills had betrayed me, I looked over the bill. No. Everything was correct. If anything, I overpaid my $10. Everyone seemed to agree. Then we began looking at what wasn't claimed by the people at the table. At last, we found the culprit-- Dallin.
People in our party found that they were overcharged for their meals. One girl was charged for the Ahi Tuna on her salad instead of chicken. Another was charged for a shot that she didn't order. Someone was charged for two crab legs instead of one. "Mistakes" like this were the reason we were $100 less than what the total claimed. And maybe they were just mistakes, but more than five mistakes seems a bit suspicious.
Dallin came back to an angry table of customers. One by one, our table told him what was wrong with the bill that he wouldn't split. One by one, he tried to talk his way out of these errors and justify his upping the price. His disgustingly dapper demeanor vanished as, one by one, he was told that he had to go adjust the total to the correct price.
Forty minutes after asking for the bill, I was able to go meet Andy, who had been waiting for me the whole time.