Disclaimer: Because of the strong language used during this story, the 'F' word will be substituted with 'potato chips'. Thanks to Levi for the choice of substitute.
So, on the flight from Denver to Northwest Regional Arkansas, we had the pleasure of flying with the klassiest of people. This debutante was no doubt reared in the bustling metropolis of Pineville, Missouri and had obviously never been on a plane before.
As Denver will sometimes get cold, we had to wait for a little while to de-ice the plane. Any one who has traveled during winter knows the drill. We waited for about an hour to de-ice and get on our way. During this process, the pilot made the following announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be getting on our way as soon as possible. Because of the de-icing process, we will need to shut down the plane's cooling system, but we'll have that up and running as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience."
Not five minutes later, we heard a loud voice scream "AIR.....AIR!!!" from somewhere in the back of the plane. If the general bellow wasn't enough to shock and embarrass everyone on the plane, this peach decided it was necessary to go proceed with an impressive knowledge of the sailor's dictionary. Example:
"Why is there no 'potato chips' air on this 'potato chips' plane? If I don't get some mother 'potato chips' air I am going to have a 'potato chips' fit! What is the 'potato chips' deal? Is it so 'potato chips' hard to get some air on this 'potato chips' plane?
Klassy. Nuff said.