Saturday, November 29, 2008

All cheery and ho ho ho all the time.

How do I describe to you the amazing experience which I endured in Arkansas this evening? My family and I went to support the neighborhood tree lighting ceremony. It was all you could imagine a good ol' down home tree lighting ceremony should be. We stood in the moist cold and waited for some old dude (extroardinarily long winded) to finish thanking all of the sponsors. When he was finished a very nice minister by the name of 'Naughty reverend' as evident by a very festive sweatshirt, gave the crowd an extensive backstory of the song 'have yourself a merry little christmas' as sung by the radiant Judy Garland from the movie Meet me in St. Louis which we never actually sung. Once he finished we awkwardly joined in with Silent Night as can only be heard by dogs. In otherwords, only an eleven-year-old boy could hit the notes. But everyone tried anyway. The tree itself, I fear I cannot do justice. While it was larger than the well-loved 'Charlie Brown Christmas' tree, it was dwarfed when compared to say, a normal christmas tree. Decorated well with random fruit and glass bulbs, the tree was gloriously lit with lights from walmart (on sale for $2.88!).
After freezing and pretending to sing, we moved inside to observe the after party. Within the warmth of the country club we had the pleasure of conversing with some of the locals. Here are a few topics of choice:
1. A very sweet old man was describing the abomination of black friday. On thursday, he had found a jacket he liked which was 50% off with an additional 30% off but was told that the following day would be an additional 40% off. Upon returning the following day, he found that it was 40% off with an additional 40% off. Either way, it cost the same. He mentioned that the aforementioned worker was a shyster. He mentioned it not once but thrice.
2. The nearby amusement park has their very own award winning production of the Christmas Carol. This show is... tolerable, at best. They have recently added new numbers to make usual 30 minute show a painful 60 minute show. As I remarked about the new addition, a lady told me, "Well, it's great theater if you haven't been to places like New York and Idaho."
3. As more and more people began emerging with various plates loaded with food. A woman who was not quite of average weight emerged with two large plates of food. She passed us and squeezed past a few others to find a seat. A woman wearing a "Nice" sweatshirt (who I assume was the 'Naughty' counterpart) noticed this ample woman and said, "Oh! Are you feeding everybody?" If I were the woman with the two plate of food, I might have told Mrs. Nice to gain some friggin' tact. In all honesty, Naughty and Nice were demonstrably reversed.


Anonymous said...

I do cherish my memories of visiting the great theatre meccas New York and Idaho. I almost peed my pants when I read that!


Andrew and Ariel said...

You're too funny to be just blogging about these things. Get a reality show. This episode could have been called, "I Just Love Ol' Arkansas"
I'm sure Eb would have given a guest appearance to show some of his Arkansas sign language skills.

Stef said...

You are so funny! I love your Blogs!!