Struggling to remain PC

Not too long ago, my friend, Katie, and I went for a quick massage at Massage Envy. We sat in the waiting room sipping tap water in front of the blazing fire. Massage Envy tries to hard to be a professional, relaxing place...they fail. We sat on our stiff couches and stared at the taupe walls just wishing the massage 'therapist' would show up already.
Finally a man walks in. "Katie? Hi, my name is Bill and I will be your massage therapist today." Katie stands and follows Bill to a room. I am left sitting uncomfortably sipping my somewhat chlorinated water.
I hear rustling by the door; assuming it was my therapist I stood up and glanced at the door. Seeing as no one was there I once again slumped into the taut recliner. "Candace?" I turned in the arm chair and was face to face with a little person.
"Hi! My name is Kevin and I will be your massage therapist."
I stared at him in complete disbelief. really?
I stood and followed him to a room. He went through the whole list of instructions: disrobe, lay face down under the blanket, etc. I followed his instructions and waited for him to reenter.
knock, knock, knock.
"You ready?"
Kevin entered the room and began arranging his various lotions...then I felt the strangest thing ever...my bed began moving downward until it was on the floor. At that point, the massage commenced.

Weird.