Jesus and Guns

Whenever I visit my parents in Arkansas we always frequent Branson, MO. Whether for a show or the immeasurable joy that is the SDC (Silver Dollar City), Branson offers the very best in wholesome family fun. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Branson, allow me to educate you.

Branson is a Las Vegas for the Baptists. It promises cheesy entertainment, a plethora of buffets consisting of fine stick-to-your-ribs cooking, and sermons around every corner. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed all of the time spent in Branson, but I am always amazed when I can hear the Christmas story thrice at an amusement park or stand and sing "God Bless America" at the end of EVERY show
(sometimes because the entertainer has donned an American Flag shirt). What amazes me even more is that no one (my family excluded) seems to notice. Nothing is out of the ordinary for them.

This Christmas my family and I made the yearly trek up to the SDC for some family entertainment. Aside from freezing our butts off we listened to some caroling, sat through an abhorringly bad Christmas show, and went on the bible train. The train really isn't called the bible train. That is what I call it.

You get on this train and toot around the beautiful back woods of Southern Missouri while screaming out Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. On your journey you travel past really random cardboard cut-outs (some of the cut-outs are in the shape of a fox, a raccoon...you know, Christmasy things)that are jubilantly lit with the spirit of Christmas. Finally you pull up to what everyone is waiting for: Grandpa.
Grandpa is sitting in a rocking chair waiting to tell you the Christmas story accompanied by the sweet sounds of the Mannheim Steamroller. I have a video to post however, it is not wanting to load at the moment. The Grandpa video will be posted soon.

After the bible train, we headed straight for the musical live Nativity show. It was pretty sweet. It had everything a musical live Nativity show should have: recorded singers, a donkey, and a token black man (who possessed the only talent in the show). Long story short, the wise men from the east found the baby in a manger and there was much rejoicing. In case anyone was wondering the musical live nativity show shared the building with a shooting gallery. Man. I love the South.