Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Musical Massacre

I am really tired of Hollywood making decent musicals into abhorringly bad movies. I am tired of getting my hopes up over and over again by movie musicals that promise a good time, great talent, and integrity of the script, then...nothing. You spend $8 to see a piece of crap; a display of every and any actor that wants to try his/her hand at singing. Guess what kids, THEY SUCK! God forbid these casting directors choose people who actually have talent. God forbid they choose people who don't make your ears bleed the moment they open their mouths. Even if the actor has a mediocre voice, why was that particular person chosen over thousands of others who have 10x more talent. As a paying customer, it is a travesty. Shame on me. You think I would learn my lesson one of these days.
This weekend I was, once again, underwhelmed by big names and crappy voices that made up the latest of musical massacres. I sat and cringed as a man croaked out 'Knowing me, Knowing you.' I rolled my eyes as 'Dancing Queen' all of sudden transitioned into a slow motion montage of an old lady jumping on the bed (even though the music itself was at the normal tempo). I was frustrated as the songs I know and love were changed, defiled, and at times, completely deleted from the movie. On the whole, Mama Mia did not thrill me. I will add it to my list of forgettable movie musicals (which consists of: Phantom of the Opera, Evita, Rent, Sweeney Todd, and others that don't happen to come to mind at the moment).
If you loved Mama Mia or any other movie musicals that I have jotted down, I mean no offence. I am not looking for anyone to challenge me, as this is my opinion. I am thoroughly tickeled if these films were able to entertain, nay, inspire you. Wonderful. I am so glad for you.
My stance is that standards should not be lowered to excell at the box office. I am disappointed in the casting directors (for choosing this), the authors of the play (to allow it to happen), and people like me (who will pay $8 to see crap hoping that they will be wrong).

8 comments:

April said...

Chin up little one. Did you hear they're making Wicked into the movie. I'm sure it will be the same. The article I read mentioned Anne Hathaway...

Willy said...

I'm pretty sure "abhorringly" isn't a word. :p

The Piorun Family said...

I'm pretty sure it is all Meryl Streep's fault. I don't know how you feel about her, but we can't stand her!

Candace said...

April-- that is disgusting and wrong.

Willy-- F-you.

Ashley-- I am almost embarrassed to say that she was almost passable. Just way too old.

Andrew and Ariel said...

I love seeing that Mary Jane Wilkes fiery grit kick in!
I don't think I'm going to see "Mammam Mia," but I'm glad you did just so I could be entertained by your rant of a review.
And by the way, thanks for the WALL-E recommendation. It was fantastic! I've seen it twice, which is a pretty tricky thing to do with a 3 week old.

Adam and Melissa said...

I heard Pierce B. Sing on NPR and it literaly made me feel uncomfortable...and after watching the best scene from the musical (Vegas resis get half off on tix so I've seen it) get slaughtered on the today show with the strange slow mo for no reason, I opted out of that movie. I hope April isn't having a premonition that somehow comes true in the next few years...because I love Wicked lol

shannon said...

as a die-hard meryl fan, i felt the need to chime in. :) firstly, mamma mia the musical is musical theatre at it's worst. a barrel full of abba songs strung together by a silly, flimsy story line. so when i heard meryl was doing the movie, i made the decision to go into it knowing it would be silly and flimsy, and to embrace that. i was lucky to see it with a theatre full of people who apparently did the same; giggling when the actors would burst into song, just for the sake of fitting one more abba hit into the "story". i could've taken or left pierce brosnan, but i thought the three older women were well cast. i much prefer great actors who try to sing, than great singers who try to act.
i fully own up to the fact that i chose to enjoy it because meryl was in it, and enjoy it i did. :)

Reagan and Jon said...

so what you are saying is dont see mamma mia? I hated rent....AWWWWFUL.