Wednesday, February 10, 2010

No use crying over spilled yogurt

I get frustrated with people who go to the grocery store surrounded by their gaggle of offspring. This can be best observed any time of the day or night at your local Wal*Mart. You see the children running in circles who obviously missed a dose of their Ritalin, the children who are tired and therefore feel in necessary to make the entire store aware of the fact that they need a nap, and the children that are just brats and whine their way to obtain whatever they want (these kids are usually super fat). Usually, when one encounters this gaggle, one can’t help but notice the cloud of destruction they become. When this gaggle passes you, you immediately check all limbs and possessions to make sure there have been no casualties.

My shopping experience last night had nothing to do with the gaggle; although, I sincerely wish a gaggle had been present.

I proceeded through the various aisles, grabbing the necessary groceries here and there. I got the butter, milk, and eggs without incident. I grabbed 1, 2, 3, 4 yogurts without effort and then came the dreaded 5th yogurt mishap. As I moved it from the shelf to my cart, it wriggled free from my grasp and fell the 53 inches to the hard floor below. Slowly, I watched the yogurt plunge to its death and explode all over the grocery store floor.

After what seemed like forever, a wave of panic rushed over me. I was not a gaggle! This was expected from a gaggle!! I quickly looked around to see if anyone had witnessed my moment of idiocy. Sure enough, there was one woman who gave these words of comfort before she steered her cart away:

“I didn’t see it. Usually I blame things like this on my kids. I would probably just put it back on the shelf.”

Confirmed!! I did a quick sweep of the neighboring aisles to see if there was an employee I could tell… to no avail. I picked up the dead container of yogurt and placed it in a different corner of the shelf (so a careless shopper would not pick it up thinking it was a full carton of yogurt).

I quickly took my cart to the opposite corner of the store.

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