Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The reasons I hate(d) Las Vegas

I went to Las Vegas for 18 hours to take an exam last weekend. Here's what I (already knew but) confirmed on this trip:

1. The flight is inevitably hijacked by a bachelorette or "Dirty 30" party that talks non-stop about how wasted they are going to get. Also, they can't seem to understand the time change thing and feel it necessary to debate it for 40 straight minutes. At the end, they decide they don't really care. As long as they don't miss Jersey Shore.
2. People really think that high fashion in Las Vegas consists of anything that is sequined, two sizes too small, and shows off one's bright pink thong.
3. It's. Too. Damn. Expensive.
4. Dear Mr. Porn hander-outer guy, as I am walking down the strip with my arms full of luggage and other travel items, what makes you think I want to take your smutty, porn fliers?
5. Drunk sloppiness. Everywhere.
6. People who take pictures of the Eiffel Tower or the Arc D'Triumph at the Paris hotel and casino. Hey guy, they aren't real.
7. Ed Hardy on old women (or anyone for that matter). I hate you Ed Hardy.
8. Know-it-alls on the shuttle who feel it necessary to announce to everyone which casino is which. Just in case we couldn't read the numerous, enormous, flashing signs. "See the one in the shape of a pyramid? See that one? That one is called the Luxor! See? it's like an Egyptian theme!" Dude. Cool it.
9. Bachelor parties who really think that the "Hangover" will happen to them and therefore quote the movie over and over again.
10. People who cleverly use the phrase "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". For the love. Give it a rest. You aren't clever. You're annoying.

My above cynicism might have been due to the fact that I was sick and there to take a test. Or it might be that Las Vegas sucks. Either way--this list is true.


Melissa said...

Hey that's my city you are talking about! I hate it for all the same reasons lol. Actually I haven't been to the strip in about six months, and even then we just head down there to see shows. It is amazing the number of people who said "What happens in Vegas..." to me when I announced I was pregnant. Yep, I got drunk and accidentally got pregnant in Vegas. Nope, not at all...

And don't even get me started on the bastardization of everything beautiful (like the dumb Eiffel tower etc.) Next time you have to come to Vegas to take a test you can stay with me and avoid the strip :)

No one does classy like Vegas right?

Mandee Shaffer said...

not syphillis. If you catch syphillis in Vegas, it's going home with you.

This is why I also hate Vegas. It has nothing to do with the fact that I don't drink or gamble. It's loud, hot, expensive, it bombards you at every angle. I agree with every single thing you said.