Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My Sexy Reynolds

A war has been waged upon my picture of the ‘Sexy Reynolds’ which can be viewed on the right column of this blog just under the ‘random cuties’.

Here is the comment (or shot, if you will) that declared war:

“That's all well and good Candace. But just as soldiers are confused and often misperform as a result of the "fog of war", any reasonable response here, is doubtful due to the "fog of Burt". That picture over there is very disturbing and makes it difficult to take meaning from your writing.
Remove Burt now, and increase your credibility infinitely. Burt sucks and is a big douche.”

First of all, whether Burt sucks or is a big douche is neither here nor there. I don’t believe either of those arguments is accurate but that is not the point. The topic of focus is the picture that I decided to put on my blog when I started it June 2007.

I am grievously sorry that you find the picture of ‘Sexy Reynolds’ just a little too masculine. I understand to some it can be a little intimidating and can cause an unspecified type of envy. My suggestion is that you think long and hard about your person on the inside to be at peace with ‘Sexy Reynolds’ on the outside. If you cannot, might I suggest a counselor?

As this blog has been in existence for roughly three years and this is the first time I have heard anyone even mention ‘Sexy Reynolds’, I feel that you are the minority and are therefore overruled. I am forced to come to the conclusion that people are capable of forming coherent opinions and writing them with the picture present…you seem to the only one with that disability.

Furthermore, I was not aware that this blog awarded me any credibility. Thanks!

Gary, I thought this picture of ‘Sexy Reynolds’ was super hot in 2007, and I think he’s super hot now. ‘Sexy Reynolds’ stays.

5 comments:

Mandee Shaffer said...

I love sexy reynolds.

T. said...

Candace, his masculinity is terrifying. However, I am not a closet case nor am I so insecure with my own manhood that I cannot stand proudly and admit that The Reynolds was a total beefcake. I cannot agree that he is a douche, for to do so would go against everything I know about being awesome. I also have faith in myself to be able to focus on a task without being distracted by a naked man. To equate Burt with an impending wartime onslaught not only mocks real soldiers but demonstrates a clear inability to allegorize.
Furthermore, to quote, "That picture over there is very disturbing and makes it difficult to take meaning from your writing." Who the hell tries to take meaning from your writing. Informative and hilarious though it is, I do not sit and ponder the deeper meaning of every stroke of your pen. You, my dear friend, are uproarious and cheeky and Sexy Reynolds is a brilliant and fitting representation of your blog and a clue as to how it should be read. DO NOT REMOVE SEXY REYNOLDS!! Because that, Candace, would indeed be "very disturbing."
In closing, "Cannonball Run." I rest my case.

Disparagingly yours,
Brett

Kaylyn said...

I think that you should have the right to post whatever you want on your blog, and I am completely in awe that someone would have the balls to tell you that you should take the Sexy Reynolds down.

I just don't understand the way some people think....

gclark11 said...

No Candace, bad girl!
Whether BR sucks or is a douche is a big deal - because you are - whether you realize it or not branding yourself with him, his image and his reputation. And so the matter of his suckiness or douchness (sp?) is quite certainly relevant here. And again, because I care about you, and worry about your image I once again implore you to take the picture down.

Now, regarding irrelevance- that a voice of sanity and reason did not find your blog until several years after you started it, does not make the voice any less significant, dear Candace. Are criticisms of smoking less important because they came decades after cigarettes did? BR is like a cigarette (non-filtered). Snuff him out, won't you please, Candace?

I doubt that you're "greviously sorry" that I find the picture "too masculine". I believe that comment to be insincere. And, dear Candace, I reject outright your suggestion that I think long and hard about anything related to BR.

And now "T" just a word or two between you and me. I don't think BR's masculinity is called into question here. He might have been a stud. But so was O.J. We don't see his image floating around here, now do we?

You're not distracted by pictures of naked men T? Well ok. Who am I to judge.

And T, your comment regarding soldiers and mockery and allegory is random at best. Did Candace challenge you to use those words in a sentence?

And finally Cannonball Run? Now T, you seem like a thoughtful (though confused) person but what are you driving at here?

Now to you, Karlyn. My request to our dear friend is nothing more than a request - well perhaps more -perhaps a suggestion as well as a request. But it is most certainly not a demand, nor a dictate nor an order of any form. I might not know Candace as well as you might, but I'm sure that issuing orders to her would not be profitable (and i doubt even Andy has the balls to fdo that). I understand completely who hosts this lovely (aside from the picture of topic here) blog, I understand who chooses how this blog shall be adorned and I undertand who's opinions regarding said adornment shall trump who's. This discussion is of course not about anything other than taste (well no that's not right - it's also about image). And I must admit to you that knowing some of the music that Candace finds tasteful has certainly called her's into question (sorry Candace - I'm thinking about your infatuation with New Kids on The Block (I can't even type that with a straight face) and just can't resist).

And finally, I've been told from the beginning, if you're gonna bring a problem, bring a solution. So here're some ideas for replacements Candace.
Equally cheeky but not equally disgusting.

Sly Stone, Rocky Balboa, Dom Deluise, Richard Pryor, Donnie Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tony Orlando, Srgt Saunders, Neil Sadaka, Jim Neighbors, Andy Griffith, Aunt Bea, Rock Hudson, Gilligan, The Skipper, The Professor, Marshall Dillon, Festus. If none of these appeal and you need more ideas please advise, but, I do believe that anyone here would be an upgrade.

Anonymous said...

Yes, really.