Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lamentations of a Nighttime Nurse

Fact: This story may or may not be based on real events which may or may not have been experienced by my husband last night.

6:53 pm- Work called. It looks like I will have to head into the office some time tonight. Whether it is in one hour, or five, I don’t know. Dr. Mahoolahan will call me when it’s time for me to do my part. For now, I will just wait.

10:00 pm- Still no word. I call Dr. Mahoolahan. He tells me that there are no updates as of yet. For now, I just wait by the phone. I decide to hit the hay. I am likely to be in for a long night.

2:00 am- My pager goes off. Figures. Dr. Mahoolahan informs me that it is time to go. I grumble as I roll out of bed. I throw on some scrubs and start on my five minute journey to the office.

2:04 am- Lights in the rear view mirror. Damn. I pull to the side of the road. I quickly review the situation to figure out why I would possibly be pulled over at 2 am. The policeman strolls to my window. “You have a headlight out,” comments the cop. Yeah, that headlight goes off and on depending on its mood. “License, registration, and insurance.” I gather the documents and hand over the information. “Do you have a current insurance card?” Double damn. I tell him that the new cards are sitting on my coffee table. As he studies the rest of the information, he realizes that the address on my driver’s license doesn’t match the address on my registration. Triple damn. The officer smiles and hands me three tickets: one for the headlight, one for the insurance, one for the driver’s license. Bastard.

I call Candace, wake her up, and tell her about the three tickets. She didn’t know that you are supposed to change your address within 10 days of moving either. She also thinks that’s a stupid law. I drive the last minute to work.

4:30 am- I am finally finished with work and in the comfort of my own bed. I can’t sleep. I turn on whatever is in the dvd player…ah. Season 12 of South Park. The noise wakes Candace up. We sit there staring at the tv for the next hour and a half. It’s funny, but not much registers.

6:00 am- I get in the shower. I have to be back to work in one hour.
One hell of a night.

Andy- Sorry if I got any of the specifics wrong.


Anonymous said...

Why do bad things always happen to good people? Reason #1 that I don't like cops. THEY ARE DOUCHE BAGS! I'm sure that guy is changing the world for the better by making sure Andy's drivers license mathes his registration. HEY, DOUCHE BAG!!! TRY TICKETING THE ETHNIC FELLERS THAT BLAST THEIR ETHNIC MUSIC IN THE PARKING LOT AT 1 AM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT INSTEAD!!! At least that would make a difference. Ugh, it just embodies two things that I hate with white-hot passion: 1)Douche bags and 2)douche bags with authority. I'm guessing the guy was about 5'7" and saw that Andy was taller (you know how they hate that). Also, this closet animal rapist must've had a quota to hit (and he ALWAYS makes his quota). Even Hitler would get sympathetic, "Ach, freund. Sie must be having ein furchtbar night. Let mich help you mit this." Good ole sympathetic Hitler. But not this heartless, spineless, soulles, dickless harbinger of misery. He must really love his work. I mean really love it. My guess is he went home later and pleasured himself to grandiose thoughts of his own authoritative displays. Luckily, Andy should be able to get out of all three of those tickets if he goes and updates his address, fixes his light, and shows his current registration.

I love Andy and hate to see anything bad happen to him.


Andy Larson said...

The blog is fairly accurate. Brett, thank you for this comment. It makes me feel a lot better.