Fed up with FedEx

FedEx is not a service I use on a regular basis. In fact, I am not sure I have ever used it. I usually go to my trusty UPS store and send packages that way. In my 24 years of living I have never sent anything FedEx. That said, you can imagine my severe anxiety when my boss handed me a thick stack of papers and asked me to ‘FedEx’ them.

I took a breath and told myself that it really couldn’t be that hard. People send things through FedEx everyday. First, I had to obtain an envelope and shipping form. This was easy because I know where the stash is hidden in our office. With both items in hand, I sat down to fill it out. Again, no problem. I had the address in front of me. I checked the appropriate boxes and filled it out. I put the hefty document into the envelope, sealed it, and reviewed the shipping form to place it properly on the envelope. It said remove the back and stick firmly to the front of the envelope.

Here was my struggle. On the front of the envelope there are contradicting directions as to where one should place the shipping form. There is writing at the top that says ‘place top of form here.’ There is writing at the bottom that says ‘place bottom of form here.’ Well, the shipping form is not that big. The third option is the little cellophane window on the back of the envelope which says ‘Place airbill here’.

Panicked, I went online. I searched images of FedEx envelops on Google and couldn’t find a single picture that showed an envelope with the shipping form on it. I then searched the FedEx page for some sort of instruction. No go. Apparently, you have to be really stupid to not know how to put the shipping form on the envelope. I immediately emailed Andy. I told him, “I don’t know how to send a FedEx!” His response was, “Neither do I, but it can’t be that hard. Maybe you should look online.”

Full of embarrassment and realizing that I only had 15 minutes before the FedEx pickup, I made a decision and stuck the shipping form on the envelope. As soon as I did stuck the piece of paper on the envelope, a dark cloud covered my desk. I had done it wrong.

Hanging my head in shame I approached my boss (who thought I had sent the package long ago) and said, “Stupid question for you. Which way does the shipping form go on the envelope?” My boss looked at me with the “you-have-got-to-be-kidding” type of look and indicated “This way.” Damn it.

I retrieved a new envelope and shipping form, filled them out again, and put the shipping form on with my boss looking over my shoulder.

I guess the silver lining is that I now know how to FedEx.