My job is frustrating...as is every one's, I'm sure. I used to work with juvenile delinquents as a, more or less, glorified babysitter, if you will. That prestigious line of work hold the title of a Mental Health Worker. About a month and a half ago (when I was a mental health worker), I was in danger of harm (physically, emotionally, etc) daily. My job was to watch the kids (hence the 'babysitting' part) and to keep the well paid people around me safe. If a kid was angry, it was my position to sacrifice myself so the "important" people remained comfortable in their respective surroundings. I was once told by a person in power that I was expendable. If I didn't like what was happening to me, I was free to quit and there would be ten others ready to fill my place. I was payed to take the hit. I know. Charming place.
Intimidation: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors. One of my favorite parts of a meeting is to walk in and have superiors stare at you as if you were some piece of gum that was scraped off his/her shoe. That is always pleasant. It makes me feel like a winner!
Pressure: It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond--or an average person into a perfect basket case. I was, on occasion, 'talked to' for instances about the wrong time on an important document, for not consequencing harsh enough, or for misspelling a patient's name. Interesting that when the large men decide to rip ears off of patients, allow patients to escape, or let patients break rules, they only get 'talked to' as well.
Sacrifice: Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you. I have nothing more to add to this. This signifies any hard worker at my establishment. The people who give a damn about the patients often sacrifice their/our sanity to compensate for the lack of care shown by our superiors.
Worth: Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important. This little fact was made very clear in my discussion (or argument) with my boss. The mental health worker is very necessary, but if they were important they would be paid a hell of a lot more than the pitiful salary that is reality.
Finally, Burnout: Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you. This is the watch cry muttered in unison by the hard workers here. We shoulder burdens that are not our own and put up with crap and illegalities that should not be tolerated.
This was my attitude a month and a half ago. Unfortunately, my attitude today is a small version of where a was then. I am frustrated with what people get away with. I want to yell out "I come to work! I follow the rules! I am an asset to this company! I do what is asked of me with no complaint! I am not a flake! I do nothing illegal! I deserve more than this!"
Tomorrow, I'm sure this attitude will subside. As for now, I just felt like venting. To those of you who can relate, you are not alone.
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