Sunday, May 29, 2011

What I'll endure for Zumba

I walked into a nearby Gold's Gym on Friday evening to attend a Zumba class. I had to miss my Thursday class and was feeling a little roly-poly. I walked directly to the front desk.

Helper: "Hello! Welcome to Gold's Gym! How can I help you?"

Me: "Hi. I would like to purchase a drop in class for the 5:30 Zumba class."

Helper: "OK! The guest fee is $10, I'll need you to fill out this form and I will also need your ID. We hold onto this until you're done with your workout."

I handed over my card and ID and started filling out the form. Pretty standard.

Helper: "Oh, by the way, I'd really like to introduce you to my friend Brett! He would love to meet you!"

Brett: (from a nearby cubicle): "Well, hello there! I'm Brett!" --Yeah. Got that much.

Me: (to the helper) "I'm not interested in a membership. I only want a drop in class."

Helper: "Brett, this lady is doing a drop in for ZUMBA!"

Brett:"Oh, you don't want to pay for a drop in class! You want a membership!"

Me: "I'm not interested in a membership. I'm here for a drop in class."

Brett: "But why pay for it when you could sign up for a membership and get the class free?"

Me: "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'd still be paying for it. I don't want to be part of Gold's Gym. I'm just here for a drop in class." --(I feel like a broken record)

Brett: "But if you sign up today, your class is absolutely free."

Me: "I'm here for a drop in class. I'm not interested in becoming a member."

Brett: "Why aren't you interested in becoming a member?"

Me: :"Y'know Brett, I feel like you aren't listening to me. I'm going to say this one more time. I'm not interested in membership. I am here for a drop in class."

Brett surrendered my ID and showed me to the classroom.
The Zumba class was less than thrilling. But better than nothing.

The end.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

26 facts about this 26 year old.

In honor of my 26th birthday, here are 26 facts you may or may not know about me:

1. I peel bananas backward.
2. I use the New York Times bestseller list to know what NOT to read.
3. I don't like the feeling of my teeth scraping a fruit pit so I don't eat fruit with pits. Even if the fruit has been cut up.
4. I was diagnosed with hearing loss in fourth grade and wore supplemental hearing aids until high school.
5. I know all of the words to American Pie by Don McLean (and have since I can remember).
6. When I was younger I wanted a limo, an RV, or a Honda Del Sol when I grew up. Those three were always present on my MASH game.
7. I studied psychology because I knew I was the next Clarice Starling.
8. I usually count stairs as I climb them but not when I descend.
9. I had every intention of joining the Peace Corps when I was 21--it ended up not working out.
10. I hate asparagus.
11. I obsessively watched the Kids Inc. movie as a child and was able to sing all of the words to "Gloria" and "I Need a Hero". I wanted to be Stacy so bad.
12. I look to my sister to keep me up to date on the latest in fashion and accessories. I rely her hand-me-downs to stay hip and with it.
13. I have lived in Citrus Heights, California, Utah (Pleasant View, Ogden, Salt Lake), and Bentonville, Arkansas (technically) and have dwelled in twelve different homes/apartments.
14. Most of my time between jr. high and college was spent purchasing and memorizing every broadway show I could get my hands on.
15. I love roller coasters but hate the feeling of falling.
16. It's a life goal to hold every type of wild baby animal.
17. I wish I lived in a place where cars weren't necessary.
18. Andy and I spend most of our alone time sitting on the couch laughing.
19. WALL-E is my favorite movie.
20. I rarely send cards (any type of card). I prefer sending presents instead.
21. I wish I could travel more... like everyone else in the world.
22. I believe that people who have made bad decisions in their past can make good decisions in the present and future. Working at a lock-down juvenile facility taught me that.
23. I claim Styx as my favorite band.
24. I miss my mom's yogurt pie with graham cracker crust more than any other food. I've tried to recreate it but it never turns out as delicious.
25. I love playing the game "Name that time signature" with Andy. Rush makes the game more interesting.
26. Ideally, I would buy a ton of land and adopt every animal that needs a home. There is no excuse for the amount of animals put down every day from neglect, cruelty, and ignorance.

Monday, May 2, 2011

High Five

My friend, Mandee and I met for lunch in Ogden as she will soon be leaving for London. After eating a delightful lunch, we decided to walk around 25th street and check out some boutiques in that area. Our first stop was a new age-y store that was not our speed. The second store is the awesomeness that inspires this post.

We walked into a sort of shrine to Ed Hardy. Bejeweled jeans as far as the eye could see. Oversized jewelry populated the center of the store. Hiding within the Ed Hardy wear, one could find a cute sundress here and there. These sundresses were the purpose of us being in this store in the first place.

Upon entry, we could see the store was a popular spot. It was crowded and had a line for the dressing rooms. Mandee and I began sorting through the Ed Hardy monstrosities to find any sort of wearable item.

Mandee was victorious and found five cute items to try on. She proceeded to the fitting room. I waited outside of the dressing room with my arms crossed.

The atmosphere changed as a greased up 40 year old (who turned out to be the owner) approached me, placed his hand on my back
and asked how my day was going. #1- a strange man's hand was on me and #2- his person (not to mention his overpowering cologne) was invading my personal space. I could practically tell you what he had for lunch. Gross.

“I don’t mean to be rude but please don’t touch me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“No worries, no worries! I hope you have a beautiful day!” said aged Jersey Shore man as he moved on to his next victim.

I watched the man approach most of the customers in the same manner. Apparently, this is the way to gain customer rapport in Ogden. What was really disturbing is I watched multiple women carry on animated conversations with his hand resting comfortably on their bra straps. Ugh. I resumed standing with my arms crossed staring and the dressing room.

Not five minutes later, Jersey man was back in front of me. “You never answered my question. How is your day going?”

“It's fine.”

The man looked at me, cocked his head to one side and held up his left hand. “High Five,” he said.

WTF. “Thanks, I’m fine,” I responded coldly.

“What?” asked Jersey man.

“I said 'I’m fine. Thank You'.” I repeated with my arms in their securely crossed position.

He moved away and turned his attention to people who would accept and appreciate it. My friend made her purchases (which Jersey man deemed “excellent purchases” which needed a high five—she awkwardly tapped his palm and looked at me with confusion) and we left the shrine.

We stopped at a few more boutiques but this one was by far the highlight of my shopping experience in Ogden.